7th Anniversary

Sean and I celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary last weekend.  Celebrate might be an over exuberant verb.  Rather, our 7th anniversary happened and we acknowledged it. In this season of our lives with young children we aren't really go out to dinner and have a huge celebration kind of people. We were also with my family in Colorado.

Marriage is such an interesting institution.  It is so raw and so real.  No one knows me in quite the same ways as my spouse.  There is an utterly unromantic intimacy about it.  I am not being negative about it---it just is.  Only Sean knows some of my wierdest quirks and likewise.  Unlike so many of my other intimate relationships---parent, child, etc we are equals and so their is a mutuality. . . and unlike so many of my mutual relationships like friendship, siblinghood etc there is intimacy.

I am constantly amazed that Sean likes me at all. I can be really mean sometimes. I get angry quickly and can be punishingly snarky...marriage has taught me to hold my tongue (sometimes), to apologize, and to analyze the deeper cause of my behavior.  On the other hand Sean possess a deep appreciation of my unhidden emotions.  He knows when I am happy, proud, sad, and mad.  For him my emotional transparency is a gift. . .

Even as I write that I know that Sean could articulate some of his own less endearing characteristics and could identify ways that he is surprised by my yes to him and also ways that he has been invited to grow in our relationship.   I also think that he knows how much I appreciate the ways that his "weaknesses" have invited me to know him in intimate and meaningful ways.

I am surprised by the secret lives of married people.  What makes couples tick, What sets them off, What things they stumble on, what makes them hold hands in public---these things are left hidden in the cracks and curves of each relationship.

I am also grateful for so much love.  Though I am not sure that it is the swoony romance that gets us through trials and the mundane of living our swoony selves have bonded us deeply and even amid the daily realities it is never far from our fingers.  Every night we go to bed at the same time- just so we can have a moment to cuddle. . . sometimes we dance in the kitchen an have a moment to reminisce about a first kiss at another dance...and even when I have been snarky about his driving and how the kids are all hungry and it's his fault, and how he left the ferry pass in the wrong car---sometimes one of us will reach over and grab a hand and even though it doesn't make all the irritation roll away it is a reminder that our story is bigger than a moment's feeling.


  1. As always, so many tidbits that hit me, including:
    "my yes to him"
    "our story is bigger than a moment's feeling"

    Happy Swoon Day to you both.


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