3rd week of Advent.
That's it. I am now on Christmas Holiday. Okay okay well not totally. I have to go in to work 3 more times for a couple of hours each time. But for the most part I am on break. Which means today I am with the kiddos.
Some of my days with the kids are lovely feats of accomplishment: Cookies made, dinner planned and executed, kitchen cleaned 4 or 5 times (because cleaning it once doesn't work). Other days with the kids are a bit more about togetherness: Craft projects, reading library books, taking the dog and ourselves for a stroll. (I can't seem to do both of these kids of day on the same day; I also can't seem to do parts of one or the other). Today, however I am not really doing either of those days. Today is lacking resiliency. Today I feel like a mess.
I haven't lost it on the kids, but I feel like I could.
I don't feel sick, but I could get there.
I have no energy to clean up lunch or breakfast but I would really like to eat some sugar laden treat.
Something about today feels altogether slumpy.
This week so far has been full of lousy news. A sick relative. A sick friend. Another sick friend. Another sick friend. Another sick relative. A friend lost her beloved friend (a pet) who was later found but it was a bit of an emotional storm to have been with her in that space (despite this now being the funniest story of the year it still feels weighty- the awfulness that almost was).
In all of this I can't find my own writing voice. It feels trite to blog about Christmas. But it also feels like the most meaningful thing in the world- to blog about a holiday I take tremendous meaning and hope from- but requires a ton of theological unpacking. I could blog bout Advent, but like so many Advents before their is a quietness in this season that doesn't have words.
I have some silly things to share- about how Thomas loves to chew on everything- I could probably do a series of "Things we fish out of Thomas's Mouth." or a series "Things Miriam is curled up in a ball and mad about." or a series on "Funny things these kids say" but even those things are not where my spirit is right now.
I am in the rain. I am so tired of being wet. It is no wonder that the myth of Noah was important to people. I could totally phsyche myself out that the world is about to be flooded...
And I am also in space of overflowing graditude where every time my fingertips touch my kids part of me sings out, knowing the random fortune that I am healthy, that we are healthy.
So that's it. No perfect summary no closing words.
Some of my days with the kids are lovely feats of accomplishment: Cookies made, dinner planned and executed, kitchen cleaned 4 or 5 times (because cleaning it once doesn't work). Other days with the kids are a bit more about togetherness: Craft projects, reading library books, taking the dog and ourselves for a stroll. (I can't seem to do both of these kids of day on the same day; I also can't seem to do parts of one or the other). Today, however I am not really doing either of those days. Today is lacking resiliency. Today I feel like a mess.
I haven't lost it on the kids, but I feel like I could.
I don't feel sick, but I could get there.
I have no energy to clean up lunch or breakfast but I would really like to eat some sugar laden treat.
Something about today feels altogether slumpy.
This week so far has been full of lousy news. A sick relative. A sick friend. Another sick friend. Another sick friend. Another sick relative. A friend lost her beloved friend (a pet) who was later found but it was a bit of an emotional storm to have been with her in that space (despite this now being the funniest story of the year it still feels weighty- the awfulness that almost was).
In all of this I can't find my own writing voice. It feels trite to blog about Christmas. But it also feels like the most meaningful thing in the world- to blog about a holiday I take tremendous meaning and hope from- but requires a ton of theological unpacking. I could blog bout Advent, but like so many Advents before their is a quietness in this season that doesn't have words.
I have some silly things to share- about how Thomas loves to chew on everything- I could probably do a series of "Things we fish out of Thomas's Mouth." or a series "Things Miriam is curled up in a ball and mad about." or a series on "Funny things these kids say" but even those things are not where my spirit is right now.
I am in the rain. I am so tired of being wet. It is no wonder that the myth of Noah was important to people. I could totally phsyche myself out that the world is about to be flooded...
And I am also in space of overflowing graditude where every time my fingertips touch my kids part of me sings out, knowing the random fortune that I am healthy, that we are healthy.
So that's it. No perfect summary no closing words.
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