This and that.
Sometimes, when I am able to find the time and the focus, I remember to sit down for 10 minutes and do some silent/centering prayer. I find a word or a phrase and I repeat that to myself. Sometimes my mind wanders. In fact, it always wanders. There are days when I can call it back better than others.
Today, sitting in this perfectly adequate but kind of lousy hotel room(s) while Thomas naps and the girls watch a movie I sunk myself into online shopping. I didn't buy anything, but because we are in the midst of this move I am excited by home furnishings. I look and look and look and look. It is a bit of a pit to be honest. Then I find myself swirling around paint colors and pondering nightstands. I compare prices of bedframes...
Today I FINALLY listened to the voice in my head calling me to sit quiet and pray. After sitting her for 5 minutes the spinning was too spinny and the words are calling me of my head and to my fingers.
Writing is like that for me. Sometimes I just need to write it down. To make myself permanent in some worded sense.
....
I gotta say folks, the grief here is huge. I am certain that in the long term our move is the right decision. I am also certain that in the short term it isn't. The kiddos start school tomorrow and it is harder tomorrow than it would have been if they were starting in Chautauqua on Vashon Island. The loneliness (which to be honest has not quite set in so that is good) is not my idea of a lovely August. I would much rather be hanging out with the friends I was making good with on Vashon. But in the long term my vocational prospects were not going to be life giving and our dream of family and the expression of our values was not best lived out on Vashon Island.
...
People ask us why we moved here. They ask us all the time.
Are you, reader, wondering that? Have I sorted enough here?
The fact of the matter is that when you are people like Sean and I. When you contemplate the shit out of everything and you discern and sort, when you muse and discuss, when you feel and process then major decisions are not on a whim. I doubt there are but a few elements of this move we have NOT sorted out.
So why did we move here- The real answer is that you probably don't have the time or interest to listen to the whole answer.
...
People are nicer here.
They truly are.
At least they are nicer to me. I guess that is all I can speak to.
I have heard more people say excuse me into me when they walk into me or near me here in the past 3 weeks than I think I heard in Seattle for a decade.
Also, people in the midwest are just less mean to fat people. In Seattle fat is morally equivalent of bad. That cultural norm is less strong here.
....
Today, sitting in this perfectly adequate but kind of lousy hotel room(s) while Thomas naps and the girls watch a movie I sunk myself into online shopping. I didn't buy anything, but because we are in the midst of this move I am excited by home furnishings. I look and look and look and look. It is a bit of a pit to be honest. Then I find myself swirling around paint colors and pondering nightstands. I compare prices of bedframes...
Today I FINALLY listened to the voice in my head calling me to sit quiet and pray. After sitting her for 5 minutes the spinning was too spinny and the words are calling me of my head and to my fingers.
Writing is like that for me. Sometimes I just need to write it down. To make myself permanent in some worded sense.
....
I gotta say folks, the grief here is huge. I am certain that in the long term our move is the right decision. I am also certain that in the short term it isn't. The kiddos start school tomorrow and it is harder tomorrow than it would have been if they were starting in Chautauqua on Vashon Island. The loneliness (which to be honest has not quite set in so that is good) is not my idea of a lovely August. I would much rather be hanging out with the friends I was making good with on Vashon. But in the long term my vocational prospects were not going to be life giving and our dream of family and the expression of our values was not best lived out on Vashon Island.
...
People ask us why we moved here. They ask us all the time.
Are you, reader, wondering that? Have I sorted enough here?
The fact of the matter is that when you are people like Sean and I. When you contemplate the shit out of everything and you discern and sort, when you muse and discuss, when you feel and process then major decisions are not on a whim. I doubt there are but a few elements of this move we have NOT sorted out.
So why did we move here- The real answer is that you probably don't have the time or interest to listen to the whole answer.
...
People are nicer here.
They truly are.
At least they are nicer to me. I guess that is all I can speak to.
I have heard more people say excuse me into me when they walk into me or near me here in the past 3 weeks than I think I heard in Seattle for a decade.
Also, people in the midwest are just less mean to fat people. In Seattle fat is morally equivalent of bad. That cultural norm is less strong here.
....
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