How many posts can I do about how sad I am?
Last night Sean and I watched "Parts Unknown: Seattle" it's a CNN series where Chef Anthony Bourdain goes to cities and learns about them while eating and conversing with locals. We watched the Seattle episode. As folks who lived there for 10 years, it was a bad episode. They didn't eat any Vietnamese food or Teriyaki (except hipster vietnamese but really?), he almost exclusively talked to white folks, the musician they highlighted hasn't lived in Seattle in 20 years!
Grrr.
The "Parts Unknown" doesn't matter really. That show is just the threshold to the grief of loving a place that we don't live in (and probably never will). I was already having a sad day.
How many posts can I do about how sad I am?
Making friends when you are 36 is so hard, and also I am more picky than ever and don't want a bunch of bullshit friends. Besides, I married my best friend so maybe I don't need that many friends.
Things were so so hard for us on Vashon Island and in the PNW. We were drowning in our life. Like being sick though, all the struggle has sunk down to the bottom and all the good stuff has stayed in the memory bank.
Dear Abby. I miss you.
And Kari.
And Sabina.
And Manon.
And my womens group.
And so many of you.
and my job.
And our kids schools. Oh Chautauqua you were so good.
And living in a beautiful place full of people who didn't belong anywhere either.
And the water. I miss so much seeing the sea.
But yesterday it was sunny here.
And the day before.
And the day before
And the day before.
And the day before.
Yeah. That doesn't happen in the PNW. Even today is a "rainy" day.
But that just means that it rained at some point today.
No mountians- so the weather moves on.
And my sadness is not about this place.
Our pot of grief is not filled with new joy.
It just is.
And joy just is.
There will come a time when we will be nostalgic or sentimental about the PNW. There will. But right now our missing is acute.
And, by the way:
I miss you in my day to day life as well.
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