If we did a Christmas card

We are not putting together a Christmas card.  In all honesty, this year it felt expensive and stressful and I didn't want to do it.  So I didn't, and so far I'm glad I didn't.

But if I were to put together a card I am not sure what it would say.  Whatever news we have I don't want to broadcast here right now.   So let me try this.  We are making friends here in Indianapolis and now they are all moving away.   I started a podcast and got a publishing deal. That's not to shabby on the other hand and applied for 3 jobs and didn't get even an interview for any of them.  Sean travelled a lot for work last spring so the kids and I perfected our bean/rosemary/tomato soup.

What else would I share, that we went to the Smokey Mountains and everyone got sick over spring break and traveled to Chicago, and Louisville, and Paris, and Oregon, and Seattle, and Sean went to Kansas and Oklahoma and a bunch of random places for work.  That we are in a weird space with being Catholic.

Or should I share, on this imaginary Christmas card that we are ever so fortunate that our kids are currently healthy and able bodied and neuro typical and that we sometimes forget what a gift that is but sometimes we also really remember.  We would share that we are older (38, 37, 10, 7, and 4) and make some joke about not being any wiser....and that the kids are in 4th and 2nd grades. These are the grades where you read to learn and learn to read.  We would celebrate that Thomas can kind of write his name.

But the most honest Christmas card would be that this family stuff is very very rich.  Laughter is a gem that I am grateful capitalism hasn't figured out how to steal and sell.  Watching our kids love each other is a gift.   But it is so so hard.  That some days we slog through like we may never make it.  Some days we yell more than they deserve and they fight more than we can handle.  That we travel a lot, but their is always some fighting and some discomfort and it's all kinds of brutal.  Hell, last weekend when we went to Cincinnati one of the kids vomited and we had to stop and buy a whole new set of clothes and throw away the stink.  I have a sense that parenting is profound fodder for personal growth, but like anything that MIGHT lead to growth it can also make you a grumpy and embittered person. What we are trying to do, above all is be in relationship with these kids, and with each other. Even though the relationships are hard. Hell we are trying to be in relationship with the homeless person, cashier, bus driver- and the white rich racist.  But is sloppy and complicated. Like all of life.

So there it is.
Merry Christmas Y'all.