Registering is not fun for everyone
We've begun and nearly finished registering. I found it aweful. The experience and even expectation to bathe yourself in consumerism is the worst kind of expectation. We are expected to think only of ourselves (with small awareness of our guests) Go into the store, get a scan gun and forget about the wages and work environment the people who produce these things, ignore the fact that your mixed matched bowls are perfectly functional (and you love them!), and now ignore your most socially informed self. When you have done this you are ready to register for wedding gifts and have an A+ time.
So what did we do with all of this. Clear enough it wasn't the most fun that we have ever had together. It's just not part of how we imagine our lives together. What we ended up doing is that we registered though at Macy's and Crate and Barrel. Because I disagree with so many of Macy's business practices such as systematically buying out smaller and regionally owned department stores (goodbye Famous Barr) we were hesitant.
However, the reality is that when you get married people give you gifts. And with our family and friends in such different locations we cannot register at a dozen local places all over the country. And I cannnot ask my family to spend $80 on a Organic Cotton sweatshop free towel (can we?)
We discussed registering at JCPenny a chain department store but less offensive. WE checked it out but decided their housewares weren't quality.
So we settle on trying not to ask in excess. To ask for things that are small luxuries but will last us a marriage. Also, if we purchase mixer that lasts us 50 years then it seems less problematic then buying one that lasts for 2 and having to support again and again as system that is designed to make us submit to social sin.
Though our reality still makes us feel a little compromised we we also decided to register at 1 local place for our dishes. I think it's called Alton Mud Works. We want to support something local, something artisan etc.
It's a grey world out there. And essentially registering is not the best embrace of my values. It is however an embrace of the reality that we face. What can ya do?