The Name Game
O'Mahoney and Doll
Do these two names carry my future and my past? Will I have a "maiden" name. (When was I EVER a maiden anyway) Since we decided to get married this name thing has haunted both of us. But really it's more baggaged with me. I think because there is so much expectation about it. For the most part people have not presumed that we would do anything in particular though. But rather, they have presumed that Sean's name wouldn't change. The expectation is that the woman changes her name, or doesn't but that she is the impetus behind any decisions. Perhaps more than anything is the presumption that women are the only ones to change because of feminism.
I have no idea how Sean's family would react if Sean O'Mahoney becamse Sean Doll. I do suspect that for many families if a man were to take a woman's name it would cause drama, hurt feelings, and general conflict.
I guess I believe though that this is the kind of conflict the world actually needs. Instead of just opting out of the conflict I think that families and certianly couples need to wrestle with all the issues it brings up.
Why is it, in our culture, belittling for a man to take a woman's name?
Does that say something about perceptions of women in society?
Sean and I have not resolved the name issue. It's not a point of contention in our relationship so much as it is an issue I have with contemporary culture. I'll let you know what happens after the deal. I'll probably let you know why too. . .