Starting to feel like a family. . .
We don't have a baby; we don't even have our dog yet (she is in the custody of my Mom until July) but I think Sean and I are starting to feel like a family.
Sean graduates in a week and a half from Weston. His family is coming: parents, sister, aunt, close family friends + daughter, grandparents etc. As we talk about this and get ready for the celebration Sean and I are so connected to each other. When we (and yes WE) imagine what a nice evening, with say his parents and sister, looks like it is about having them over to our place, is is about playing games, talking, visiting.
OUR values are all mixed up together and to me that feels like we are a distinct entity with our own way of being in the world: a family. What does our way of being seem to look like? We know that we both enjoy small groups of people more than large; we both know that we enjoy quality of conversation of quantity of conversation (granted sometimes they are not mutually exclusive) but we have moved from knowing things things to desiring these things together. We desire to create situations that allow this for each other. We see our values converge together and we recognize the ways that we are in the world together that is different and similar from our homes of origin.
As we imagine the best possible situations for family time, graduation time, holidays, even for our wedding, it is having time with small groups of people, and about having quality conversation and quality experience during that time. I guess for us it is less a matter of doing rather than "being."