The slow independence

These thresholds she passes through all by herself.
Two weeks ago Junia got so mad at me when I suggested that perhaps we say goodbye before her classroom door.
She didn't want to discuss it.

And then yesterday one the way into the school she just turned and said, "goodbye."
With a kiss from me and a kiss to the baby she was gone.

Wisked away into little girlhood.
She was confident to walk down the hallway and take care of things all by herself.

I had asked for this moment from her.
Hauling the baby and the stroller and sometimes the middle sister all feels like a lot when all I am doing is walking her to her classroom door.
My arms are too full.  And honestly, I know this girl. She can handle it.

But in that moment, in the unexpected departure.
In the surprise of brazen independence.
I wanted to cry.
But because I dream of my child being independent and free. I just smiled.  And that smile I meant.

Oh that girl.
She had been thinking about it.

These kids, they do their own thing.
They are so fully their own people.
It is not shocking to me that I am an individual.
But it is shocking to me that my kids are so separate from me.


  1. I love you and your words. They always speak to me, deep in my heart. You are raising your kiddos to be amazing, strong, confident, lovely humans.

    (I remember the day K drove off with a friend -- the first time she was in a car with another person her age (not an adult driving her somewhere). I watched them drive away and thought "this is it." She had always been with me or a parent, or a trusted adult friend. Now she was with another teenage driver, going where??? Would they be safe and smart, would they come back? Tough to cut those apron strings sometimes. All we can do is hope we've taught them well, and that they've LEARNED well and give them a little push.)


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