Behold the Layers of Bullshit:Getting a Catholic baby baptized
We have asked to have our child baptized into a life of faith. And the response has been so harshly negative.
If I were a bishop the church I would tell every priest out there- to respond with Joy! I too would respond with Joy!
As pastoral leaders we don't really know who is knocking in our door. Baptism for a lot of families is a one stop shop. they get their kids baptized and then they are done. So it seems to me that if you want to give people a positive experience you say to people, "Yay!"
"Welcome!"
"Congrats!"
"We are so glad you found us."
and then the next thing you say is,
"When can we make this happen for you?"
"What kind of support do you need?"
then you offer them a ton of resources....
Then you thank them for coming to mass....
and then. Only then. Only after lots of cheering and rooting for people who are bringing their children forward to be baptized does a pastor or a parish administrator say, "So here are some of our structures..."
and to be honest those structures should be few and far between. Perhaps the only barrier should be, "do you honestly intend to raise your child in a life of faith?" if the answer is yes then go for it.
Sadly, so so sadly, this is not what our experience has been (this is also not what most people's experience is). We are being demanded to show evidence of our sacramental life. We are being demanded to fill out paperwork, evidence our practice, and defend our thoughts around choice of Godparents (who fill the canonical expectations)
NO ONE is asking us what we believe. No one is having a conversation with us about ways to integrate faith into our family. No one is talking to us about God.
This process of having Thomas baptized in a parish that follows pretty normal parishes has been very very painful. Sean and I are terribly devoted to the faith lives and the religious imaginations of our children. But, the fact of the matter, is that no one cares about our raising of our kids. No one in church leadership has EVER had a conversation with us about praying at home, talking about Jesus, introducing kids to faith.
The fact of the matter is that Sean and I are good at this. We like this part of parenting. And sadly, so so sadly, the church is more concerned about if we receive the Eucharist every single Sunday.
Give me a break.
If I were a bishop the church I would tell every priest out there- to respond with Joy! I too would respond with Joy!
As pastoral leaders we don't really know who is knocking in our door. Baptism for a lot of families is a one stop shop. they get their kids baptized and then they are done. So it seems to me that if you want to give people a positive experience you say to people, "Yay!"
"Welcome!"
"Congrats!"
"We are so glad you found us."
and then the next thing you say is,
"When can we make this happen for you?"
"What kind of support do you need?"
then you offer them a ton of resources....
Then you thank them for coming to mass....
and then. Only then. Only after lots of cheering and rooting for people who are bringing their children forward to be baptized does a pastor or a parish administrator say, "So here are some of our structures..."
and to be honest those structures should be few and far between. Perhaps the only barrier should be, "do you honestly intend to raise your child in a life of faith?" if the answer is yes then go for it.
Sadly, so so sadly, this is not what our experience has been (this is also not what most people's experience is). We are being demanded to show evidence of our sacramental life. We are being demanded to fill out paperwork, evidence our practice, and defend our thoughts around choice of Godparents (who fill the canonical expectations)
NO ONE is asking us what we believe. No one is having a conversation with us about ways to integrate faith into our family. No one is talking to us about God.
This process of having Thomas baptized in a parish that follows pretty normal parishes has been very very painful. Sean and I are terribly devoted to the faith lives and the religious imaginations of our children. But, the fact of the matter, is that no one cares about our raising of our kids. No one in church leadership has EVER had a conversation with us about praying at home, talking about Jesus, introducing kids to faith.
The fact of the matter is that Sean and I are good at this. We like this part of parenting. And sadly, so so sadly, the church is more concerned about if we receive the Eucharist every single Sunday.
Give me a break.
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