Desire. Advent Reflection

I titled this blog post when I started, usually it is the last thing I do.  The assumption is that I ahve something to reflect on; I am not sure if that is true.

Last week I was given a Christmas card, or more accurately an Advent Card.  You see we Catholics have this strange tension of being in our Church Season: Advent (our time of waiting, preparing and desiring God's Kindom in the here and now) while everyone else is in Christmas.  So anyway it was from a Catholic organization and there was a quote that said something like this,

"During this season we are more fully aware of our desires and our longings..." and then it went on to say something about God I am sure.

I was a little bit stunned. Here, after all, are the words I associate with Advent: waiting, & preparing.  Of course desiring isn't too hard to come by right? Waiting for the Kindom and desiring the Kindom are not that far from one another.  As I sit on my comfortable perch of American White Middle-Class Privilege I don't "desire and long for" the Kindom in  a way that those who are suffering, oppressed, broken, lost etc are.  In fact, if I had been asked what I desire or long for in the Christmas after my father died I am sure I would have wanted two things.

1. For Dad to return.
 but since I knew that was probably off the table.
2. For the heavy cloak of grief to be lifted.

So I don't have a clear response to the idea of desire and longing wrapped up in Advent,  except to be aware of how much Advent and Christmas is wrought with privilege for me.  It also made me think of this article that I blogged about several years point in it, that I have carried with me is that to truly advocate for truly do the work of transforming hearts, lives, and kindoms one must know what one loves.

After all, my desires and longings at this junction in my life are deeply wrapped up with my children.  I dream for them, I long for them, I desire for them.  At other points in my life it would have been about longing for women in prison, or longing for my own education or jobs, it would have pointed to things I love and thinks I had concerns and fear around---now these things are my children...

So what then is the question?
  What are my longings and desires?
  What are God's longings and desires for me?
   What are the longing and desires for the places of the world I love?

Hmmm. Thoughts my dear reader? I am feeling very incomplete here in my wonderings...wonder back to me will you?


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