2 more weeks of summer...

I sense summer coming to a close. I am trying to cling to its presence, but really it's like trying to cling to sand.  It's useless right?  I wish I could elaborate on the simple joys that we have celebrated in this summer.  But I don't feel tuned into them at all!

The last 2 weeks have been obnoxiously stressful.  We have had childcare issues run amok and my work schedule which on paper looks really easy and simple has been moved around.  I wish that I could say, "I enjoyed the extra time with my kiddos." Except that wasn't how it felt at all. I felt like I was disappointing people at work, and bored at home.  All in all, it felt pretty hard.

Though one of my most important spiritual practices is being present. and very simply noticing the world around me. I has been a hard season to do that.  Part of it feels pregnancy related.  Though some people come alive with the feeling of carrying a child I am feeling tired (still!!!) I have headaches almost every afternoon. In general, I am feeling like the things I enjoy in the summer have become much harder this season.

Maybe it is more than that.
Perhaps I am on the verge of an existential crisis?
Maybe I need to re-examine my spiritual practices.
Maybe I need to read less novels that take place in WWII Berlin, or Revolutionary Haiti??

So there it is.
The low down on feeling a bit down low.


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