Life's punching bag.

Yes so Miriam is now 5.
She is also out of the hospital and on the mend.

It is now me who is unwell.
Not physically, at least not too much, but my heart is a mess.

The layoff from my job has thrown me for a pretty serious loop. I am down. I am having a hard time believing I matter.

Sean and I were planning on going to a conference together this weekend (he was already there when Miriam was in the hospital). I was looking forward to the mix of speakers, free time, per diem drinks, and being in a beautiful place. God, I was looking forward to it: for months and months.

When you have 3 children things like this don't get planned on a whim.  So my heart is kind of broken up about all of this. I wanted and needed this trip to New Mexico.  I had asked women friends to help me create some reflection pieces.

I am not (yet) depressed. But I am struggling with some situational depression. I guess because a part of my heart is broken. I am all out of resilience points.



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