Prayers for the Catholic Church: A Prayer in the mess.

I'm writing and praying a prayer a day for the next 9 days (a novena) as a response to the sexual abuse crisis, homophobia crisis, sexuality crisis, gender crisis, misogyny crisis, and honesty crisis in the Catholic church- particularly as it has been expressed in the Pennsylvania Grand Jury Report. 

Great and powerful Mother God.
Are you pissed?
Maybe even violently pissed (I wouldn't put it passed you!)
Because once again, your beloveds are hurting.

And when that happens I am pissed.
But deep under there I am hurt.
And scared.

This time at the hands of those who have claimed your name in their wake.
Who have claimed your voice.
Have claimed you in their hiding.

Are you scared Mother God that they will not listen?
Are you pissed.
And hurt.
And scared.

What is my prayer for this time?

Only, God that right now we will sit together.
My pain wrapped up with your pain wrapped up with the pain of the survivors and victims
of all the pain.

You have taught me God that with you, if we let it,
our shit becomes fertilizer.

Maybe if we sit in this pain.
In this stink.
In this mess.
If we keep on sitting in it long enough
we will get there.

Amen.