I scared a new parent

I think I scared a colleague today. I haven't seen him in awhile and last I knew his wife was expecting, "do you have a baby yet," I asked:

"Yes, he's about a month old now."

"Oh congratulations, that's wonderful. How are you guys doing?"

"We are getting used to the new routine." Then he paused answering the presumed question that I might ask even though I wouldn't, "though he's still not sleeping through the night."

Nonchalantly I say, "No of course not." internally thinking "of course your 1 month old isn't sleeping through the night that is okay he's one month old!" And then in a terrible attempt to normalize his experience I scared him shitless, "Don't worry, our 18 month old just stopped sleeping through the night."

What I should have said, "You'll sleep again, I promise, and someday a rough patch will be just a patch and not a lifestyle."



  1. One month old sleeping through the night?? What book has HE been reading! haha

    This too shall pass. My 19 year old DOES sleep through the night now! :-)

    But seriously. Why do we get all bent out of shape about ages and dates. I don't remember when I was potty trained, do you? What does it matter? WHY does it matter? Does it mean you are less (or more) of a parent if your child meets some book's standard of sleeping through the night, eating solid food, potty training... etc. Most kids are gonna do it on their own time line and that's just the way it is (unless a parent forces them onto THEIR time line).

    Let them be. They are all FINE! They will all be sleeping through the night, potty trained and eating solid food when they are adults. Actually -- much sooner than that. It all works out in the wash.

    WOW! I'm not usually so verbal! Sorry! :-)

  2. That's a cute story. But it does seem like babies/toddlers/kids and sleep is such a big story all the time (I just saw another one on CNN this week that talked about co-sleeping and everyone has so many opinions).

    And what is so magical about sleeping through the night. My husband doesn't sleep through the night very often, so why should my sons. (Actually, as I type this I am on the couch while Mark and Foster are in the bed and Caleb is sleeping on the floor in our room).

    I do look forward to the day when Foster sleeps through the night but am trying to enjoy the fact that he needs me so much right now since the 8 year old I have seems so independent and seems to need me less each day.

  3. EXACTLY! I think sleeping is a big deal because it's so hard on parents...so at whatever level they are sane then that is fine...this whole "sleep through the night" thing is bullshit...Does Junia sleep through the night?? I don't know about that...she cries out periodically throughout the night...but that isn't a big deal...and we are sane...that is a big deal!


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