Ministry and Feminism. Where do they meet?

So after 7 years of theological education- and after 3 years of ministry I am able to begin to sort out what I have been prepared for and what I have not. I will not go into it all, but i want to sort out, or at least share, a particular struggle.

I am asked to find a quote for the Institution Christmas card that is about family. This challenge, difficult enough, I can try to do. Even though the gospels aren't really about family and a lot of our Christmas myth is not biblical (ie: holy family, Mary kissing Jesus, the lovey-dovey part just isn't there).

So one of the possible scripture quotes I might use for this Christmas card is when the Angel says to Joseph "Take Mary as your wife, the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit." Frankly my feminist radar is going off!

"Take Mary" - this order does not include her will- it presumes her will to be marriage.
"conceived in her"- removes any of her part in the matter of conception. Let's not even step into the implications of her will separate from this.

But here I am, trying to choose between giving them a scripture passage that is what it is with all the weaknesses and patriarchy of scripture. Or do I revise it? Or do I just look for another patriarchal quote.

Today, as I do many days, I think that there is something easier about being a scholar. A scholar puts their work into critique, into research, into deconstructing I do not believe this an easy task, I am grateful for the work of theologians, graduate students, scholars and the like. But the task I face, of integrating it into real people's lives, real ministerial and ecclesial settings is one I am ill prepared for. How do we sort through the politics of the church and the politics of ordinary settings? How do you argue from a standpoint that ordinary people understand?

Questions . . . So many questions.

Anyone have any resources?
Is this what people with DMin's work on?