Fat and Pregnant

Okay, before you even read this post you have to let go of all the negative connotations of the word fat. Stop with the self loathing, or the fear, or the "oh Rachel you aren't fat" crap. Just let go of some of the baggage with this word, and read letting the word "fat" be honest not derogatory.




Okay, it's official and I am now willing to admit it. I look pregnant. Unequivocally pregnant. Women don't say anything (because we are all afraid of being wrong) but there is clearly a person (or 3) growing in my middle.

Last weekend I think the baby gained about 1 pound in 3 days. Which, when you only weigh 2.5 pounds to start that's huge! When I got to work after the weekend, I couldn't reach my keyboard correctly, all of my pants were noticeably tighter, and my typical tank-top "at home wear" was not coming as low across my pelvis as needed.

Then on Tuesday I was at Fred Meyer and "Sharon" the check out person asked me when I was due. I have never had my pregnancy acknowledged by a stranger before so I was, frankly, pretty shocked. In fact, I didn't understand the question at first. Nonetheless, I retorted, "August 12, and you are the first person to ask me that." Sharon, the woman who asked about my due date is black. It got me thinking about black culture and the greater acceptance of dynamic body shapes. . .

I believe, though it is perhaps my issue, that white women usually picture pregnancy on petite white women who gain weight all in the middle section and usually look like they have a basketball or a watermelon under their shirts. Because the (pregnant) body image type for white women is unattainable for most (petite, size 0-3, smooth skinned, long hair, blue eyes, straight teeth, perfectly shaven legs and other various parts etc.) So when we imagine pregnancy it's not like this body image drops by the wayside. We tend to just plop a lump in the middle of this perfect body.

Which, of course we all know, this isn't realistic. After all, small women gain a lot of weight during pregnancy- and though this hasn't been a problem for me (still the same weight all along) the self hatred because of weight gain is all around. But with weight gain upwards of 20lbs or so that is not going to be solely centralized in someones mid-section. It is, of course, going to be spread out!

Though, I am not a woman of color, and in all honesty, my circle of friends and even acquaintances is white I know that women of color are surveyed as being MUCH happier with their bodies, they are (though not always is great ways) acceptable in main(male)stream with bigger butts and breasts than their white counterparts. Black women, though, I will not argue are somehow more liberated than white women (because of institutionalized oppression, history working against them, and suburban white feminism hasn't done them any favors) are more flexible in their imagination around body type (why is it that I, a fat white woman, have been hit on much more by black men than white men hmmm?).

So here's what I am getting at, because of this more flexible body type, this affects their imaginations of the different ways that women can look pregnant. So when women with a flexible body image (often black women) see a fat woman like myself (I am using fat not as a defaming term here) they know how to see a woman who is not just fat (and not afraid to call a woman fat who looks pregnant)but who is pregnant. This is because her imagination has been shaped by different body types.

So all in all, I am thinking a lot about this. About body shape, pregnancy etc. And though this theory could use some research to validate it. I think I might have something going here.