Shall we name her faith . . .
I don't feel as though I am in a faith crisis. But I am an angry, hurt Catholic woman. I believe that a tremendous amount of patriarchy is reinforced in the church. I find it tremendously painful- but is that too general. . .
Priesthood. . . are you kidding me. I am not even going to bother writing very much here because the patriarchy and perversion of Roman Catholic construct of priesthood is evil. And if you don't get why I think that then this wouldn't be a very good place to even start.
How can I worship though, when the priest is so central? The fact of the matter is that I cannot. I am a damn good preacher and a pretty good presider so praying with a presider that I percieve as theologically rigid, or judgmental, or even just socially maladjusted I am not going to pray with. At least not well.
And what kind of a church is this to enter a child into. . . a church where holocaust deniers are lifted up, a church where the voice of women theologians (let alone lay theologians) is altogether ignored, a church where abortion is held as a greater sin (at least by the US bishops) than war, or death penalty, or a number of other life issues.
The real question I am asking myself is at what point does the pain become so great that someone should not stay. . . That a person should let go of their cultural and religious past. And now with "Faith" on the way questions about initiating a child into a religion that will not welcome her full self.
Perhaps "faith" will be called into the priesthood- do we put her in a place to feel that pain. And what if she is gay. . . I am in full disagreement with church teachings on homosexuality. I think it could be downright destructive to raise a child with the judgment, oppression, and exile that being homosexual and Catholic provides.
I do not want to add to the pain that life will force upon "faith." I do not want to go to mass with my children and leave enraged each time.
What I do want. . . That actually seems to be the harder question.
Priesthood. . . are you kidding me. I am not even going to bother writing very much here because the patriarchy and perversion of Roman Catholic construct of priesthood is evil. And if you don't get why I think that then this wouldn't be a very good place to even start.
How can I worship though, when the priest is so central? The fact of the matter is that I cannot. I am a damn good preacher and a pretty good presider so praying with a presider that I percieve as theologically rigid, or judgmental, or even just socially maladjusted I am not going to pray with. At least not well.
And what kind of a church is this to enter a child into. . . a church where holocaust deniers are lifted up, a church where the voice of women theologians (let alone lay theologians) is altogether ignored, a church where abortion is held as a greater sin (at least by the US bishops) than war, or death penalty, or a number of other life issues.
The real question I am asking myself is at what point does the pain become so great that someone should not stay. . . That a person should let go of their cultural and religious past. And now with "Faith" on the way questions about initiating a child into a religion that will not welcome her full self.
Perhaps "faith" will be called into the priesthood- do we put her in a place to feel that pain. And what if she is gay. . . I am in full disagreement with church teachings on homosexuality. I think it could be downright destructive to raise a child with the judgment, oppression, and exile that being homosexual and Catholic provides.
I do not want to add to the pain that life will force upon "faith." I do not want to go to mass with my children and leave enraged each time.
What I do want. . . That actually seems to be the harder question.
My feelings about religion, god, the Catholic empire, etc, were all pretty much summed up right there.
ReplyDeleteThe catholic church basically protected the third reich after ww2 and helping them escape to south america. This is the church that millions worship with and pay huge sums of money too. I could go on and on about my feelings about the church...but considering the family...it's probably not a good thing.
You have just detailed many of the reasons I now am an Episcopalian.
ReplyDelete