I believe that God and I are in conversation about the work I do, about the way I live my marriage, and the way I live parenthood. I believe that God is involved in my discernment to study theology (at various stages), move into Campus Ministry, move to Seattle and even to accept the position that I work in.
BUT, I was at mass today and 3 men. 2 priests and 1 lay man reminded me that God actually isn't involved in my discernment. They reminded me that the work I do is because of the lack of priests. They reminded me that I am unwelcome in my own faith tradition. They reminded me that if there were enough ordained people then maybe some of theme would be more willing to set up chairs, talk to girls about sexting with boys, be bossed around by other priest, and balance the realities of being at a multi-faceted institution. I was reminded that God does not call lay people or women into these roles but that only men are called to work in the church. I was reminded that men are ignoring the call and that the holy spirit is being ignored by these men.
Well thank God that these men spoke to me. I now know that I need to speak to teenage boys about their call to the priesthood. I need to use my job to bring more men into ministry so that I can stop going to work and stay at home and nurse my blessed darling(s). And really, I should thank God that upon hearing these word my heart opened to receive this.