Why have children?
Why do people want to have children?
No seriously. I mean this question. Why do people choose, and therefore want, children? I am not asking because I am critical of wanting children. Don't interpret the tone in a bad way. It is just utter curiosity. Because, you see, I am trying to figure out why I want children. But I don't know why.
Would I have WANTED children if Junia hadn't shown up? It's no secret that we were, uh, less than pleased to have an embryo in our life. But she has since her embryonic stage turned into someone we want in our life: Someone we value, love, care deeply for beyond our imagining.
So reader, why do YOU want(ed) children?
Why do you think other people WANT children?
We came into marriage not knowing whether we could have children. Other women in my family, who very much wanted children, were unable to without various means of medical intervention. Aware of this, we decided to be cool either way.
ReplyDeleteWe're expecting a baby boy in September. We're thankful, excited, scared... It's hard to articulate why I/we want children because I spent so many years anticipating NOT having any, and never really feeling like it was something we needed to do.
Why do I want this baby? On the most basic level, my hormones tell me I want it. I love my husband, and he wants it and I want for him to be a father. I guess I want this baby because he already exists & and I already love him.
The trickier question is, why, after years of indifference, do I want an additional child? Because we thought this one would be a girl, and I got really attached to the idea. It's kind of shallow, but that's the truth.
I totally understand the being attached to the idea of a particular child...I really didn't want junia to be a boy...she obviously wasn't...but why.
ReplyDeleteIt's all really interesting to me. And congrats...I didn't realize you were due in September....Wow that is soon...but first months of large ankles! :)
Mike and I have been thinking about this recently, and I don't think either of us have a good answer. It just feels like the next thing we both want. We want a little person, made out of the two of us, to help grow and learn and exist... but where that desire comes from is a mystery!
ReplyDeleteI wish I knew why I want a child. I've been thinking about your question for days and I have no definite answer. I do know there are days when its the scariest idea to think of all the responsibility that goes with having a child. And other days I think of how amazing it would be to love a child into "being."
ReplyDeleteI think it's to give something or someone....more than myself. Working with kids has afforded me a small window into the highs and lows of child-rearing and it looks DAMN hard. And joyous...but damn hard. So there's gotta be a reason people keep doing it!
ReplyDeleteI don't know. We live in such a ME ME ME society that I think it would be nice to have someone else be the center of my universe. I know many parents would love some free time, some sleep time, some uninterrupted bathroom time, but life can be kinda stagnant and boring when it's all about you. It's almost like that kind of freedom is a bit stifling at times. It seems like kids can push you to be more free by sacrificing for something beyond yourself.
great question.
ReplyDeletefirst, i have never wanted to birth my own children.
ever.
even in 1st grade when we would all play 'mommy', i would go 'buy' a baby to bring home.
when i first met my partner blake, i told him first thing 'i want to adopt. i have no desire to ever add yet another child to this already over populated universe'.
he had always felt the same way. and thats how we knew we were meant to crash into each other.
we will be adopting from haiti in the next couple of years. i think the decision has been harder for our families than for us.
honestly, i think birthing multiple children is slightly selfish. there are millions [MILLIONS!] of children that go to bed each night without ever hearing 'i love you', without ever having a tight hug, without ever knowing the meaning of 'family'.
i know that a lot of people disagree with us. but for me, adopting has been the only option for me.
cheers!