Notes from a growing family...
I'm running on like 5 hours of sleep. That is so not enough for me. Miriam went to be late, got up at 2 and got up at 4:30am. At 4:30am she decided to mostly stay awake. Or at least stay restless. It sucked.
How the hell do parents take care of an infant and a toddler. Presumably infancy turns into babyhood with more looking around more engagement...but yikes this is hard!
Baby screaming in the car is as close to torture as ordinary life can get.
Miriam has been taking a predictable afternoon nap. I have been taking one when I can but since it is my only alone time (when it's just me) I have also been using it to journal, read or blog.
There are too many Mom blogs that idealize life. Once again, I realize that there are not enough voices of parents who love their kids desperately but who have ambivalent experiences of parenthood. I want to swoon over Junia and Miriam and I want the freedom to confess that I dropped the f bomb in their faces!
After I got the two of them down for naps I set a timer for 20 minutes and picked up the downstairs and vacuumed. I needed to do it and it felt good.
Maggie (the dog) has been at Sean's parents for two weeks. I am kind of looking forward to having her back and kind of dreading it. She does make cleaning up the floor after dinner way easier!
I had a beer with lunch today. There we are, Junia and I sitting on the living room floor (on a blanket we were having a picnic), Miriam on my boob, we are eating nachos with cheese and beans (don't even ask!), and I was enjoying the shit of out of my beer. Junia ate some beans off her foot after she stepped on them. I didn't even stop her.
My google reader says I have 1000+ things to read. That overwhelms me.
I kinda want to go to work just so I can get away. Not a whole work week just a day. And, I would hate it and want to be at home with my girls. That and my boobs would hurt like mad!
Having a newborn in the spring is so much better for my spirit than in the fall.
Baby screaming in the car is as close to torture as ordinary life can get.
Miriam has been taking a predictable afternoon nap. I have been taking one when I can but since it is my only alone time (when it's just me) I have also been using it to journal, read or blog.
There are too many Mom blogs that idealize life. Once again, I realize that there are not enough voices of parents who love their kids desperately but who have ambivalent experiences of parenthood. I want to swoon over Junia and Miriam and I want the freedom to confess that I dropped the f bomb in their faces!
After I got the two of them down for naps I set a timer for 20 minutes and picked up the downstairs and vacuumed. I needed to do it and it felt good.
Maggie (the dog) has been at Sean's parents for two weeks. I am kind of looking forward to having her back and kind of dreading it. She does make cleaning up the floor after dinner way easier!
I had a beer with lunch today. There we are, Junia and I sitting on the living room floor (on a blanket we were having a picnic), Miriam on my boob, we are eating nachos with cheese and beans (don't even ask!), and I was enjoying the shit of out of my beer. Junia ate some beans off her foot after she stepped on them. I didn't even stop her.
My google reader says I have 1000+ things to read. That overwhelms me.
I kinda want to go to work just so I can get away. Not a whole work week just a day. And, I would hate it and want to be at home with my girls. That and my boobs would hurt like mad!
Having a newborn in the spring is so much better for my spirit than in the fall.
Thanks for blogging. I wish you lived closer so I could come and visit more easily.
ReplyDeleteI am so grateful for your honesty. In general, and with regard to parenthood in particular. It is seriously one of the major things that enables me to take a deep breath and have charity and empathy toward the sometimes-difficult cultural pressure to have had kids that exists here in my corner of the world. Much love to all of you Doll O'Mahoneys.
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