Postpartum thoughts...
S worked today for a couple hours. It was supposed to be the hours that Junia was napping. Guess who didn't take a nap today!
Miracle though, Miriam is taking a long nap. All the laundry even got folded. I really do like folding laundry. I was so good at that job on Star Island.
While folding laundry I realized I need to swap out my clothes. I only have maternity clothes and pajamas at my disposal. The jeans I am wearing today have a major crotch hole and are baggy. I should do that change out soon while I still have S here for most days of the week.
Post pregnancy stuff:
We went to church today. Everyone was like, "what are you guys doing here?" My question is, "what am I supposed to be doing?" Going to church is not really hard work. Stand sit, stand sit. Besides, I am getting a little overcooked being at home with my feeding units hanging out.
S made a joke about being in a "henhouse" with all these women. And the minute it came from his lips we both immediately knew how bad it was. The micro-aggression and sexism in a comment like that- yikes. Thankfully we are both sensitive to that both around us and the ways that comes up externally. Certainly he didn't invent the phrase and he said immediately how delighted he is to have two daughters and to have a woman-spouse - but I think we both felt the sexism that is imbedded in people's image of family. After all, people were shocked for much of our pregnancy that we didn't want a son, "you already have a daughter." Right. Because all daughters are the same?!
I am jonesing to get out to the garden, and to get pull weeds, plant some things and so on. It ain't gonna happen for several more weeks. My body isn't ready. This summer might not produce much produce....I should just shoot for easy things huh?!
We have a midwife appointment for tomorrow. You know because we scheduled them for the last possible date. The thought that we could still be waiting for a baby is horrible. We are so thrilled she came when she came. Nice timing Miriam!!!
If you are uncomfortable with body talk stop reading here:
Okay, I am not a woman who disdains the woman's body at all. I like being a woman. I'm happy to keep it that way. But, I HATE the smell of post baby blood. I hated it after Junia I hate it again. I kinda want to shower all the time. Ironically this is not a point in my life where taking showers at whim fits in very well into the expectations my children have for me. I wonder why I hate the smell so much. I also wonder if other women feel this so strongly?!
Having a vaginal birth with some tearing and now having stitches and a VERY sensitive nether regions gives me a tiny tiny taste of the horrors of Female Genital Mutilation. Have two daughters now makes me sensitive to this as well. My body shutters at the thought.
Recovering from this vaginal birth is kind of a joke compared to recovering from a previous c-section. It's not that it's nothing...it is just so much better than a c-section.
It's an amazing thing that my feet are the same size at the end of the day as at the beginning. It's really great to not have swollen feet.
It's also amazing how much my bladder can suddenly hold. I drink water all day and night and I only pee like a normal amount of times during the day.
Speaking of which I think what ultimately threw me into labor was that the several days before I drank gallons and gallons and gallons of water. I was super hydrated for several days in a row. I think that gave my body the push that it needed to have this little one.
It is amazing how wimpy my stomach muscles are. I cannot believe how weak I feel when I have to use them. I haven't been using them much and am still taking it super easy but wow, stretching them so big for so many months it is weird to be so without a core.
Miracle though, Miriam is taking a long nap. All the laundry even got folded. I really do like folding laundry. I was so good at that job on Star Island.
While folding laundry I realized I need to swap out my clothes. I only have maternity clothes and pajamas at my disposal. The jeans I am wearing today have a major crotch hole and are baggy. I should do that change out soon while I still have S here for most days of the week.
Post pregnancy stuff:
We went to church today. Everyone was like, "what are you guys doing here?" My question is, "what am I supposed to be doing?" Going to church is not really hard work. Stand sit, stand sit. Besides, I am getting a little overcooked being at home with my feeding units hanging out.
S made a joke about being in a "henhouse" with all these women. And the minute it came from his lips we both immediately knew how bad it was. The micro-aggression and sexism in a comment like that- yikes. Thankfully we are both sensitive to that both around us and the ways that comes up externally. Certainly he didn't invent the phrase and he said immediately how delighted he is to have two daughters and to have a woman-spouse - but I think we both felt the sexism that is imbedded in people's image of family. After all, people were shocked for much of our pregnancy that we didn't want a son, "you already have a daughter." Right. Because all daughters are the same?!
We have a midwife appointment for tomorrow. You know because we scheduled them for the last possible date. The thought that we could still be waiting for a baby is horrible. We are so thrilled she came when she came. Nice timing Miriam!!!
If you are uncomfortable with body talk stop reading here:
Okay, I am not a woman who disdains the woman's body at all. I like being a woman. I'm happy to keep it that way. But, I HATE the smell of post baby blood. I hated it after Junia I hate it again. I kinda want to shower all the time. Ironically this is not a point in my life where taking showers at whim fits in very well into the expectations my children have for me. I wonder why I hate the smell so much. I also wonder if other women feel this so strongly?!
Recovering from this vaginal birth is kind of a joke compared to recovering from a previous c-section. It's not that it's nothing...it is just so much better than a c-section.
It's an amazing thing that my feet are the same size at the end of the day as at the beginning. It's really great to not have swollen feet.
It's also amazing how much my bladder can suddenly hold. I drink water all day and night and I only pee like a normal amount of times during the day.
Speaking of which I think what ultimately threw me into labor was that the several days before I drank gallons and gallons and gallons of water. I was super hydrated for several days in a row. I think that gave my body the push that it needed to have this little one.
It is amazing how wimpy my stomach muscles are. I cannot believe how weak I feel when I have to use them. I haven't been using them much and am still taking it super easy but wow, stretching them so big for so many months it is weird to be so without a core.
I had assumed that the smell had to do with the witch hazel pads I was using to calm the ouch (major tearing. word.), but it makes sense that there would be a distinct odor to postpartum bleeding.
ReplyDeleteGlad your recovery is going well, & that you are finding it easier than the last one. :)
MAN my eyes are bad... I keep getting the secret word wrong!