How to deal with social media guilt.

I like pinterest.
I like instagram and facebook. I like blogging and reading blogs.

But to engage in social media or image sharing (or whatever) I have developed thick skin, or rather a new set of questions.  Rather than asking myself "why I don't..." I ask new questions.

Why would I do that?

Today I saw these pictures for a cake recipe.  And instead of thinking, "Oh I am so inadequate and not good enough," I thought, "who the hell stops, decorates the table and then takes pictures of their cake? Just sit down and enjoy the stinkin' cake."


I don't know this blog, and I don't have anything bad to say about the blogger. In fact, this is a blog I follow, but so much of social media is about presentation. We throw out these perfected images of ourselves. But I wouldn't bother to stage a picture of a cake because it's not my lively hood, I don't care about presenting myself that way, and frankly, I want to eat my cake.

Do these people have small children?

So this is a picture I have actually pinned. I like the colors, I like the style, I like the casual appearance of things.  But really, there is no chance in hell this person has small children. Little hands would spread the  dirt that is in the terrariaum on the coffee table all over damnation and and then those shelves behind the couch would not only be cleared of all the colorful things but would probably be laying on their side being used as a jungle gym, car, picnic table, house, maze, fort etc.

Even if, this family has children the likely have different spaces for children....which means that they have a larger house...which means they have money...

Do I want to spend my money on that? Or how much money do these people have?

For the most part I have pretty low class house tastes.  I would like some new furniture that isn't covered in children goo but I like eclectic thrown together style. It's not that important to me that everything looks classic, expensive etc.  Interesting is more important to me.

But the interwebs are full of images like this... Like I am supposed to lust after this laundry room. Or some exotic vacation, or some dreamy garden...a lot of these things cost hundreds of thousands of dollars. Even if I had that money it is such a gross use of money.

I also ask myself,   "Who actually does this?"

Someone who constantly take photographs of their dreamy children dancing in the moonlight probably didn't record the fight that happened before the moonlight dance or that the dance ended by stepping on a slippery pile of dog poo and ended up covered in it...or that their marriage is falling apart, or that the car is in the shop or that they are struggling with mental illness, or that someone they love has just been diagnosed with a terminal illness.. . .

I confess when it comes to these questions, this is the hardest one for me to remember.  I find myself jealous just like the next person...but really we are all just persons...with complexity!

The final question I ask myself is

Is that really how I want to spend my time?

See the star below...isn't that awesome looking?


But wait, how long would that take me? Probably weeks, for sure a long day, and I would have to stop doing other things like cooking, parenting, etc.  All for what?? FOr a really cool looking piece of art made out of matches.  Um. No thanks, because I don't want to spend my time doing that....

So even though I feel guilty about not doing "enough" or not being good enough at decorating or styling or taking pictures or crafting or whatever, I have started to realize that a lot of it is just bullshit.  I think that's why I like pinterest fail, it's why I like people watching in real places (not online people but all kinds of real people in public places) it's why I value meaningful conversations.  Because we are all holding it together beautifully and falling apart constantly.


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