Don't try to comfort. Just be. All of us.
For 2 days I have been having contractions. Yesterday and hour apart and lasting about 45 seconds. In the evening they became more frequent about every 30 minutes. I didn't sleep well last night but around 4:00 the contractions finally died down, my bladder finally chillaxed and I slept pretty well for several hours getting up only once between 4-9.
Today, contractions were about 30 minutes apart ALL DAY until around 4:00 and have been about every 10 minutes since then. We called the doula- yup it sound like early labor that could chill out tonight and I could sleep, it could stay just like this for several days, or contractions could keep getting closer together and eventually I won't be able to talk or walk through them. Then- we'll know it's really labor.
So here are the words of my heart:
Don't tell me to be patient. Because you are not in my body.
Don't tell me "oh well when I was in labor. . . " because I already stopped listening.
Don't tell me it will happen in it's own good time- because I know that but my heart and my head know different things about this experience.
Don't tell me it's because of my cute little bundle at the end. I'm not there right now.
Remind me that this IS part of labor.
Remind me that these contractions are not nothing.
Remind me that someday when I am not situated in the middle of it I will be able to reflect on this- and it will have different meaning.
Let me be in this- and during the shit let me be there.
During the peaceful moments of being centered- be with me.
Today, contractions were about 30 minutes apart ALL DAY until around 4:00 and have been about every 10 minutes since then. We called the doula- yup it sound like early labor that could chill out tonight and I could sleep, it could stay just like this for several days, or contractions could keep getting closer together and eventually I won't be able to talk or walk through them. Then- we'll know it's really labor.
So here are the words of my heart:
Don't tell me to be patient. Because you are not in my body.
Don't tell me "oh well when I was in labor. . . " because I already stopped listening.
Don't tell me it will happen in it's own good time- because I know that but my heart and my head know different things about this experience.
Don't tell me it's because of my cute little bundle at the end. I'm not there right now.
Remind me that this IS part of labor.
Remind me that these contractions are not nothing.
Remind me that someday when I am not situated in the middle of it I will be able to reflect on this- and it will have different meaning.
Let me be in this- and during the shit let me be there.
During the peaceful moments of being centered- be with me.
I love you Rachel! You can do it!
ReplyDeleteYou are absolutely in my heart, dear friend -- I'm far away, and I don't know what you are going through, but you are very, very firmly in my heart and in my thoughts. I have absolute faith in your going through what needs to be gotten through and doing what you need to do. All my love.
ReplyDeleteI am with you through this, and thinking of you --remember that also after she arrives and you're having a tough day/night and just need someone to listen. 314.604.1542 (my cell)--seriously, even if it's the middle of the night (I'll probably be up with our LO anyway).
ReplyDeletei am for you.
ReplyDelete