Someday I will sleep well again.

Someday I will sleep well again.
That's the wonderful thing about being sleep deprived because of someone else and not because of my own body.

Some of the things I am most looking forward to about sleeping well again are things like being able to fudge a little bit. I'm looking forward to things like laying in bed talking at night without thinking, "oh my God I'm losing precious moments of sleep" or watching some TV after the kiddos go to bed without wondering how you will be "punished."

I'm looking forward to having enough energy to give my partner a chance to sleep in without being bitter and resentful all day (sure it'll always happen at the moment of wake up!).

I'm looking forward to unplugging the nightlight.  Our house is so dark at night, I love it. But because it is so dark I cannot see a baby or get her onto my body without a night light we have to have it in.  But, when Miriam starts sleeping through the night (whenever that is) I can't wait to bask in the dark.

I am looking foward to not having a bottle ready at bedtime, knowing where the boppy is, having an extra diaper in our bedroom...but what that really means is I am looking forward to just going to bed- not preparing for all the variables.  I will deal with them on chaotic nights but I am sick of ALL the details of getting us ready for "bed" because bed isn't just sleep right now.

Yes. I will sleep again.
I don't know exactly when.

I can only hope it'll come before menapause when most people stop sleeping well.


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