The pressure against partnership
I started dating Sean because I like him. I married him because I like him, enjoy him, feel supported by and capable of supporting him and also I and love him. All in all, I really like being with him whether it be at the dog park, cooking dinner, or going on vacation. He is my favorite person in the world.
There is a strange pressure among some people to talk bad about your spouse. Or to celebrate and relish getting away from them. In fact, when I have mentioned to my coworkers that I want to spend time with Sean on a given weekend because I haven't seen him much during the week people inevitably say, "oh you are newlyweds that will pass." So maybe it will, But if it does that sucks.
I remember when we were wedding planning there were these aweful cake toppers that had brides dragging grooms or the strange bachelor(ette) party things that mention loss of freedom. These things make me so sad. Why would anyone marry someone they feel makes them less free. Why would anyone want to be in a relationship where any partner feels dragged.
I think that we have a real problem that couples are not allowed to talk about and celebrate that they like each other. If more couples were socially allowed to do this- I think we could all be more free. Our children would be more welcome to imagine friendships outside of gender limits and ultimately couldn't we all love better if we could actually express what we feel.
So this is my prophetic voice of the hour. That people who love and enjoy marriage and relationships might actually be free enough to celebrate that and share that. Even with people who might not feel that way.
There is a strange pressure among some people to talk bad about your spouse. Or to celebrate and relish getting away from them. In fact, when I have mentioned to my coworkers that I want to spend time with Sean on a given weekend because I haven't seen him much during the week people inevitably say, "oh you are newlyweds that will pass." So maybe it will, But if it does that sucks.
I remember when we were wedding planning there were these aweful cake toppers that had brides dragging grooms or the strange bachelor(ette) party things that mention loss of freedom. These things make me so sad. Why would anyone marry someone they feel makes them less free. Why would anyone want to be in a relationship where any partner feels dragged.
I think that we have a real problem that couples are not allowed to talk about and celebrate that they like each other. If more couples were socially allowed to do this- I think we could all be more free. Our children would be more welcome to imagine friendships outside of gender limits and ultimately couldn't we all love better if we could actually express what we feel.
So this is my prophetic voice of the hour. That people who love and enjoy marriage and relationships might actually be free enough to celebrate that and share that. Even with people who might not feel that way.
Hear hear!
ReplyDeleteYes.
ReplyDeleteAnd I don't know how long you're supposed to be a "newlywed," but after almost 4 years of marriage (and being together for... almost 7?) Steve & I are still BFF.
I agree that this is a sad, and I dare say unhealthy, social trend.
This is one of the things I love most about Marc. He brags about me all the time. Makes me feel loved and important. We have been together for 7 years and married for almost 4, and we are still best friends. I love nothing more than lounging around with him and sharing the details of my life and hearing the details of his.
ReplyDeleteI am lucky to have several good friends who feel the same way about their husbands. I hope we all remain "newlyweds" forever.
Anne